This is part 2, dear reader, and I'm wondering if I should be treating you like a bit of a moron. Well, the average IQ is supposed to be 100, right? I met somebody with an IQ of 100 once - and he was an idiot. So given that the average person is a idiot then I think to be fair that I should point out the blatantly obvious and suggest that if you haven't read part 1 then you should do so first. You might hate it or not understand some of the words and decide not to read part 2 after all, thereby saving you the time of reading this post which you can use to watch reruns of Friends or something. Never let it be said that I'm not fair or generous. You're welcome!
Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 9:02 am Post subject: THURSDAY
I wake. I look around and recognise nothing. Something's not right. Something's out of place. Something just doesn't feel right. Hmmm... It's still fairly dark and I turn on the light and suddenly I recognize nothing. That's better. Culture shock = over. (Very subtle).
9am and I'm up and ready for anything except the unexpected. I get a taxi to work and the fare is $18. The whole ride over I'm wondering about tipping. What do I do? How much? I give a $20 note and say nothing, using my developing poker skills I look for any hesitation. If I see any then I'll jump out of the car and leave him the $2 tip. I see no hesitation as they guy gives me my change. I now have (more) doubts over my poker playing ability.
Work. I do the old meet and greet all morning. I'm not going to jabber on about work because it would take hours to set the scene and it would only be very boring anyway. Instead I'll rate my working day out of 10 in various categories. Category suggestions welcomed - I'm struggling.
- Work load: 5
- Brain strain: 5
- Physical challenge: 1
- Humour: 1
- Other: 9
Back at the hotel I decided to go for a walk, and find some beer less than $4 a bottle and some food less than $20 (not that I'm paying my own food but I didn't really feel like a whole big meal or anything).
As I walked I started wondering about how many people in America carry guns. I started getting perhaps a little overly paranoid. I saw a sign saying "downtown". I decided to follow the sign because when you're alone and life is making you lonely you can always go "downtown", or so I've heard. I was humming an annoying tune that somehow got stuck in my head when somebody shouted from behind me "Hey you!" There must be a lot of you's around, I thought. You, doesn't necessarily equal me. "Hey you!" the voice said again. That you equals me. I gulped. I turned around and I opened my mouth to say: Here take my wallet don't kill me! But I was interrupted when the guy said "Hey, You know where the cinema is?" I smiled, a change in strategy was required "...ahhh, no mate". "Oh, ok, no problem"
I found a bottle shop and I bought 2 super sized cans of beer. They were the 2nd biggest size available. The larger size is about the size of a human head (Bucky's human head no less). The shop keeper put my purchases into a brown paper bag. Can I tell you about brown paper bags? Americans make a quality brown paper bag. I don't want to put down the Australian brown paper bag industry but really - you haven't seen a brown paper bag until you've seen an American brown paper bag. Quality. Budweiser is a better beer than Coors.
I figured out that my hotel room has wireless internet capability so thought I could write a blog about my adventures. I did.
And here's part 3.